Happy New Year!

As today is the last day of 2014, I woke up this morning reflecting on the year. I still cannot believe we are here waiting for a new heart. 2014 was the best and worst year of my life. The best year because of my baby boy's arrival on October 12th, 2014. Worst year because of learning he has a broken heart. But we are staying strong and positive and we will be toasting to a new heart and a return home in 2015!

Beckett is still in stable critical condition. He has now been on the heart medications for a week and a day. He is doing great, but his heart is not really improving and the function is pretty bad. His team has decided that Beckett is an excellent candidate for the Berlin. The Berlin is an artificial heart device that "replaces" the function of the heart. It will give his heart a break and bridge the time to transplantation.  They think right now is the best time because all his other organs are in good condition. This will give a better outcome rather than inserted in an emergency situation. This is scheduled for Friday morning. Joe and I are very nervous for the surgery and the after math. The first month is quite critical but then after that Beckett should be back to the way he was before hospitalization. While on the Berlin, Beckett will be weaned off his heart and sedation medications and the vent. Once off the vent I can hold him again!!!!!! Oh how I wait for that day!!!!!!! He will then start to work with PT and OT and will have a goal to breastfeeding again. I will feel like a working mom again! For this surgery I was asked with just an hour to donate blood in the name of Beckett. It is best for his blood to be replaced by mom or dad. So last night my dad took me to the blood bank to donate. I was very nervous because it was my first time donating, but I kept my focus on Beckett and distracted myself by talking to my best friend.

Today was a busy day for Joe and I. Every morning starts with joining the doctors and nurses on rounds. Joe had to go give blood and then we met with the surgeon for Friday. I feel so safe in the hands of his transplant doctor and his surgeon. We hear nothing but amazing things about them and they are the nicest most humble doctors I have ever met. We also met with the genetic team as we are still trying to find the etiology of his cardiomyopathy. Hopefully we will have an answer of what caused this to my sweet Beckett. This is a picture of Beckett yesterday when his nurse let him sit up for a bit. He is getting so big! I wonder what it will be like to hold him again! Until then we are one day closer to a new heart!

Happy New Year's Eve Everyone!!!